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Too good to resist! Desember 10, 2007

Posted by unobastardo in Trivia.
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The Value of a Drink

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think

about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams
. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their

dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
~ Jack Handy


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re
going to feel all day. ”

~Frank Sinatra


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

~ Henny Youngman


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the

wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza.”
~ Dave Barry


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to his buddy Norm.
Here’s how it went:


“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not!

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Kommentare»

1. Bertus! - Desember 13, 2007

Ek weet nie of jy dit al gedoen het en of ek dit gemis het nie, maar skryf seblief bietjie iets oor rose’. Ek het dit onlangs ontdek en drink nooit weer enigiets anders nie.

2. unobastardo - Desember 13, 2007

Ek sal so maak, Bertus. Ekself is nogal lief vir Rose, meer as vir rooiwyn. Watch this space!


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